Roasted Pepita Honey Butter and 25 Nut-Free Alternatives to Peanut Butter

Looly loves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, which is a problem because, in case you missed the memo, Roo is allergic to peanuts and tree nuts. So, sadly, no almond butter or Nutella for us either. For years we've relied on Sunbutter for sandwiches, cookies, and pretty much everything else peanut butter-inspired. Huge props to Sunbutter. I don't know what we would do without you, my friend, and seriously, it is pretty freaking good. We're not tossing our jar of Sunbutter but with the school year looming and roughly 540 lunches to pack (that's 180 days times 3 kids!) perhaps it's time to expand our nut-free horizons.

Yup, that's a a smothering of homemade roasted pepita honey butter, baby. Chunky, salty, sweet, crunchy, nut-free yet nutty in flavor, and loaded with good stuff like amino acids, healthy fats, vitamins and minerals. Pepitas, by the way, are pumpkin seeds, but "pepitas" is a much snappier way of putting it, am I right?

Bean worked the blender and helped taste test. After giving up one too many spoons to her constant lick stealing, I finally gave her a bowl and a spoon. Roo was intrigued but not ready to actually sample quite yet. And Looly, my usual holdout, she gobbled up half a pepita butter and jelly sandwich then wolfed down another thick slice of bread slathered in pepita butter. Yeah. That was after her lunch.

Roasted Pepita Honey Butter

2 cups pepitas, roasted and salted (I bought our pepitas already roasted and salted but you could easily roast your own pumpkin seeds instead).
3 tbsp. honey
1/4 cup canola oil
salt

Combine pepitas and honey in a food processor or powerful blender and pulse. Slowly drizzle in oil through top of lid and process until you have reached your desired consistency. I left ours just a little chunky and the extra crunch is awesome. Taste and adjust salt and honey to suit your mood.

And just in case you aren't swayed by my recipe, here are 25 more nut-free sandwich spreads to help get you through the school year.

25 Nut-free Sandwich Spreads

1. Sunbutter
2. Wowbutter (soy butter)
3. Nonuts Golden Peabutter
4. Biscoff Spread
5. Guacamole
6. Simple Foods Organic Chocolate Soy Butter
7. Mashed banana
8. Hummus
9. Edamame Hummus
10. Black Bean Hummus
11. Baba Ganoush
12. Roasted Vegetable Spread
13. Lemon Curd
14. Triple Berry Curd
15. Apple Butter
16. Vanilla Pear Butter
17. Pumpkin Butter
18. Mascarpone cheese
19. Goat cheese
20. Ricotta cheese
21. Schuler's Cheese Spread
22. Whipped honey
23. Marshmallow Fluff
24. Nut-free Kale Pesto 
25. Olive Tapenade
26. And of course, Roasted Pepita Honey Butter

Peanut-Free or Not to Be?

This peanut thing is tricky. For one reason or another, peanuts in schools seem to be getting a lot of folks all worked up these days on both sides of the lunchroom. As mom to a peanut and tree-nut allergic kid, I'm oddly bipartisan on this front.

Obviously it would be safer to rid Roo's world of all traces of nuts starting with his school lunch table. On the other hand, singling out peanuts doesn't really help us much since a stray walnut or trace of almond butter are just as dangerous for him, if not more. 

I also understand the frustration of parents who can't send an easy, reliable, standby sandwich to school with their child. My kids are not always great eaters and if someone tried to tell me I couldn't send chicken to school with Roo, I'd be a little peeved. Then again, if that chicken was going to endanger another student's life, I'm pretty sure Roo could manage with carrot sticks and turkey roll-ups. I'm not messing around with kids dying.

The other aspect of my peanut-free ambivalence is perhaps more controversial. See, I don't trust other parents. I can't. It has taken years of reading labels, calling manufacturers and restaurants, reviewing RAST results, reading allergy studies and meeting with specialists to gain a firm understanding of how to keep my own son safe. That still doesn't qualify me to keep another child, one with different allergies and a different level of severity absolutely safe.

At four years old Roo is pretty well-versed and won't accept anything to eat unless he's verified its safety with an adult. But quite honestly, that's not their job. I don't expect another parent, camp counselor, or teacher to scour labels for filberts or albumin (yup, he's egg-allergic too) and call manufacturers when there's any doubt. It's just not realistic. I will mention, however, we've been very lucky to have a superstar teacher at Bean and Roo's preschool who goes way above and beyond in terms of understanding and accommodating Roo's unique needs.

To me going "peanut-free" at school doesn't mean much. There is still no way to guarantee that Timmy's mom didn't sneak him a peanut butter sandwich, just this once, or that Karen's grandpa didn't realize that the Kitchen Sink cookies from the local bakery contain peanuts. Roo needs to know that unless something has been deemed safe by me, his dad, or another trustworthy adult who has read, reread, and understood his entire allergy protocol, it is not safe. On some level isn't it more dangerous to instill a false sense of security at school when that's not how the rest of the world works? I don't want him thinking that just because he's at the peanut-free table, everything's copacetic.

Now, don't get me wrong. You have no idea the tear it brings to my eye when someone takes the time to find out what works for Roo, then opts for birthday fruit kebabs over cupcakes because they are safe for the whole class. I sincerely appreciate the efforts that so many of our dear friends and family have made over the years...from the first batch of vegan, nut-free sugar cookies my sister sent a few Christmases ago, to the strategically planned family anniversary party at a restaurant that would accommodate Roo's needs. My gratitude is immense.

Clearly food allergies are real and sadly, they're not going away any time soon. I don't know what the right solution is but as we're figuring it out one thing is clear. We're going to need to work together. Allergic kids and their parents deserve an environment in which they're empowered to protect themselves. Epi-pens in every classroom would be a good start, in my opinion. If we can manage defibrillators in public places, a few strategic epi-pen jr. packs placed throughout schools should be doable. Parents of non-allergic kids need to be able to ask questions and feed their families without being attacked and accused.

No matter your stance, many of us are looking at nut-free lunches this coming school year. Be on the lookout soon for posts highlighting the many delicious and varied alternatives to PB and J and peanut butter cookies that our family has grown to know and love.

Bahama Breeze Fiasco

We spent Memorial Day in Cleveland and overall it was stellar. Bouncy house, swimming pool, sunshine, barbecues, playgrounds, new shoes, a pinata, cocktails, good friends and one bad restaurant experience. Having been on the other side of the food allergy equation, I'm usually willing to cut restaurants some slack. Feigning knowledge, however, is never a good idea when allergies are in play.

Here's a copy of my letter to Bahama Breeze corporate office.

Dear Boss Man (not really his name),

On Saturday, May 26, 2012, my family of five visited Bahama Breeze in Orange Village, OH. My four-year-old son has food allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, and eggs. While we avoided the need for epi-pens and hospital visits, the attention we received in response to his allergies was abysmal.

I know that dealing with food allergies is a nuisance. I have worked in restaurants and am sensitive to the myriad unreasonable requests and demands we customers make.  Still, I wouldn’t be writing this letter if I didn’t sincerely believe it might help protect a future diner.

We purposely dined at an off peak time. I let our server, Tony, know of my son’s allergies immediately and asked if he would mind checking to see if the bowtie pasta from the children’s menu contained egg. Tony informed me that he didn’t need to check because all pasta contains egg. Obviously, as the mother of an egg-allergic child and someone familiar with food preparation, I knew this wasn’t true. I explained that generally only fresh pasta and egg noodles contain eggs, at which point Tony told me that Bahama Breeze makes all of their own pasta. How impressive for a Caribbean-themed family restaurant to make all their own pasta – and bowties at that! Still dubious, I opted not to argue further.

So, we ordered the grilled chicken instead. When I asked Tony to verify that the chicken wasn’t marinated in anything containing nuts or eggs, he told me that the chicken “should be good.” Well, “should be good” isn’t good enough when anaphylaxis is involved so I asked him to please check in the kitchen, but never heard back. When our food arrived the chicken was covered in a glaze. My husband questioned Tony yet again about how the chicken was prepared at which point Tony finally asked another server what was in the glaze. She responded “citrus juices and egg whites.” Thankfully my son hadn’t tasted his food yet. But what if he had? Fifteen minutes later Tony brought us a plain chicken breast but our confidence was shaky.

When we dine out we’ve learned that some restaurants are better equipped than others to deal with food allergies. That’s okay with me. But please have a plan in place even if that plan is to state that you do not accommodate allergy requests. When dodging a bullet, I generally prefer not to tip the shooter.

Thank you for your time.

Our Allergy-Friendly Restaurants

If you or someone you dine with has food allergies, trust me when I say I know how frustrating and downright dangerous it can be to go out for a meal. I could regale you for hours with stories of Roo's uncomfortable, but thankfully not lethal, restaurant adventures. Too many hives, tears, and fist-clenching tummy aches to count. And the vomit. So very much vomit I've taken to carrying a Tupperware container and washcloth in my purse. You think I'm kidding.

This is the list I wish I had three years ago. It's definitely not exhaustive, but I hope it might give someone out there a starting point for traversing the restaurant scene with food allergies.

Roo's current allergies include eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, peaches, and beef. I do not claim that the restaurants listed below have menu options suited to every person with food allergies because there are just too many variables to consider. In our personal experience, however, these standouts have gone above and beyond in helping our family enjoy a safe meal time after time. Perhaps more importantly than what's on the menu is the restaurant's attitude about food allergies in general.

All-stars:

California Pizza Kitchen
Our personal experience here has never been bad, dating back to the days when Roo was off all dairy and apple (in addition to the eggs, nuts, beef, and peaches). The waitstaff has always been willing to check labels, ask questions in the kitchen, and use foil under pizzas in the oven to avoid cross contamination. They've allowed us to dress our own pasta at the table, which sounds so small but when you're presented with a plate of glistening noodles in a bowl, how can you really be sure that's olive oil and not butter? Better still, here's a link to their allergy information.

Chipotle
Chipotle is our safety net. Did you know that Chipotle is a nut-free establishment? It took me long enough to figure that out. Did you know they have kids meals that include a cheese quesadilla (or taco or whatever), a side of rice, beans, and a small bag of tortilla chips? They make their allergy information readily available and are always willing to put on clean gloves or grab a fresh tub of beans to avoid the potential of cross contamination. Perhaps the best part about Chipotle is that they are ubiquitous. We can almost always find one in a time of need. One word of caution, however, if you suffer from a soy allergy, Chipotle is not your savior. There is soy in almost everything.

Seasons 52
Interestingly, owned by the same parent company as Bahama Breeze, but SO much better equipped to handle allergies. 

Steak n' Shake
Health food it is not, but the service and attention to allergies we get here is fairly awesome for a fast food joint. Managers routinely let us read any and all labels, deliver food personally, and make sure everyone is breathing and smiling. Read the labels because everything is not transparent (for instance there is egg in the milkshake base), but I love the attitude toward allergy disclosure at Steak n' Shake.

Lettuce Entertain You Restaurants
How freaking awesome is it that all the Lettuce Entertain You restaurants, and there are a lot, have allergy info available and a responsible protocol in place for dealing with allergies? Many offer a gluten-free menu too! The downside is that Lettuce restaurants are not everywhere. We are lucky here in Chi-town that we can choose from a vast array of cuisines and varying levels of fanciness within the Lettuce Entertain You family. But, unless you're in Chicago, Minneapolis, Las Vegas, or Washington DC, you're out of luck.

Honorable Mentions

Noodles and Company
Tasty pastas and noodles, allergy info is available online and behind the counter (just ask for the allergy menu) but be careful of cross contamination. Remind them to use a clean pan or clean the griddle and watch out for the nuts.

Red Robin
They talk a big game about allergy sensitivity and they have allergy menus available but they probably shouldn't need to run up to the office to print them out and then act uncomfortable when we choose to order something.

Cracker Barrel 
Not the most consistent in handling allergies, but we always seem to be able to find something suitable and safe.

The Not-So-Good

Buffets scare the crap out of me. There is just way too much potential for cross contamination.
Five Guys (in case the peanut shells on the floor weren't a clue)
TGI Fridays
Sbarro
Bahama Breeze - Yikes! Read about our Bahama Breeze fiasco here.

And no, that doesn't mean that these are terrible restaurants and that no one should ever go there. It's just that in terms of allergies, we personally have had one or more sub-par experiences there.

Traversing the Restaurant Scene with Food Allergies

I want my kids to see the world before they're too cool to hold my hand. I want them to run their fingers along the weather-pocked stone of the Mayan temples I keep telling them about. I want them to know the sharp sting of black sand on the soles of their feet and the cool melt of ahi on their tongues. They should be sticking their noses into steaming pots of dal in India and sampling nshima in Zambia where their father was born. Our passports are up to date. I even bought a new bathing suit but sadly we won't be boarding an Airbus any time soon. Damn you, food allergies. I want to go on vacation!

OK, so we're not quite ready to tackle international travel yet, but as I mentioned in a previous post, we're inching toward mobility. Over the course of the past four years of dealing with Roo's allergies (now down to eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, beef, and peach) we're starting to get the hang of this eating on the road gig.

First things first. When we go to a restaurant we always have Roo's epi-pens and Benadryl. Always.

We call ahead whenever possible to get a rundown of how the restaurant handles allergies, what food items are safe, and what type of oil they use to fry stuff. We do not call to ask these questions at 7:00 pm on a Saturday night.

Once we get our menus, we ask all of the allergy questions again and compare answers. Often they are not the same as those received on the phone.

We keep an emergency snack bag in the car with a few small items in case we can't find something safe and need to buy ourselves some time. This bag contains fruit snacks, pretzels, and Dum Dum lollipops at a minimum. Bananas and turkey roll-ups do not keep well in the car. 

When someone, say a busy waitress, takes time to find out once and for all if there is egg in the fusilli pasta and returns with the label torn from a box, we do not let this act go unrequited. We are chronic over tippers. This is not a bad thing.

And we're learning to relax.

Eating out with food allergies is a risk but so is everything else worth doing. Every time Roo works his way across the monkey bars I worry that the kid before him had peanut butter on his fingers. Every time Looly goes on a play date I worry that there's an unsecured firearm in the house. Every time Bean opens our back gate on a stormy day I worry a gust of wind is going to smack the iron handle into her teeth. But somehow the monkey bars get crossed, the play date gets played, and the gate gets secured once more.

I guess that's what we do. I can't protect them from everything. For Roo, eating buttered noodles and broccoli from a kids menu is just one of those things.

Why we don't visit more

Along the lines of my recent post on declined birthday party invitations, we don't visit much either.  Friends, family, near, far, it makes no difference.  We are just not much for traveling these days whether it's across the country or across town.  It's not that we don't like you.  In all probability we really truly do.  After all you're sweet, charming, so very generous to invite us in the first place and (blush) you read my blog!  

But here's the deal.  Dinner parties stress me out.  As a fully indoctrinated Midwesterner the rules of politeness prevent me from coming right out and saying it, but most of the time, going anywhere there is food with my kids just plain sucks.

The preparation - yes, we feed them dinner before we leave even if the invitation says 3 pm, the packing (epi-pens, Benedryl, Tupperware or other vomit catching device, full change of clothes for Roo, soy milk, safe snacks, safe treats to deploy in case of meltdown, clean shirt for me, 2nd safe dinner to eat on location, the list goes on), the worry (Are there nuts in the house?  Does the pasta they made for the kids have egg in it? Do you still have the package from those crackers?), and the unknown - my kid could burst and vomit strawberries all over your plush white carpet at any moment.  It's just a lot to deal with.

Then there's the weight problem.  It doesn't matter what's for dinner, how adorable the plates are, or anything else.  Roo simply does not eat well away from home.  Maybe that's most kids, I mean, parties are supposed to be prime time for grabbing a couple of bites here and there and topping it all off with a yummy treat.  But that doesn't fly for Roo.  And unfortunately, he doesn't make up for it with a yummy calorie rich party dessert the way other kids might.  He wants a Dum Dum lollipop and a cup of water.  One poor meal for him means lost ounces.  And too many of those lost ounces are when the doctors start talking about g-tubes and strict elimination diets. 

So this is my confession.  Please forgive me for being an ungrateful guest.  I am trying.  I know it's not fair to always come to our place.  I know we've got to learn how to "live" with these issues, but in the interest of keeping my blood pressure intact, please do allow me my baby steps.  And to all of you who keep inviting us anyway and strive to keep things nut-free and Roo-safe when we're around, who trudge to our place through both snowstorms and heatwaves from near and far, and don't roll your eyes when I read every single one of your ingredient packages for the 5th time, it means the world.  Thank you!

RAST

RAST results are in.  New additions to the life-threatening list...

Walnuts
Hazelnuts
Pecans
Macadamia nuts

and of course...the dreaded peanut, which we already knew about.  Could really use a little good news this week. 

November Social Calendar

Roo had the pleasure of a 3 hour appointment with his new allergist this week.  She seems qualified and knowledgeable, she pricked his back 32 times and injected various poisons looking for hives...the usual.  We didn't test for nuts to avoid another exposure but he's still very positive for eggs - both yolks and whites but no new culprits appeared on the prick test, so that's positive.  That and he didn't throw up even while the nurse and I pinned him to the table, pricked his back and forced him to lay face down in a puddle of his own snot for 20 minutes.  On the other hand, now she has me freaked out that he probably has asthma too. 

Still to come this month...

- Pre-op physical with the pediatrician
- Surgury (5th Upper Endoscopy to date to check for eosinophils since re-eliminating milk)
- Blood draw for RAST for peanuts and tree nuts
- Allergist (patch test application)
- Allergist (patch test removal)
- Allergist (patch test evaluation - all separate appointments, of course)
- Flu-shot testing
- And eventually, we hope, one flu shot, rather than the series of 4, but remains to be seen.

Can barely wait to see what's on tap for December!